I Could Say
by elphabachan
Summary: Fez could say a lot of things about him and Jackie. But would any of it be true? Spoilers through S8, not a JF piece at heart.


A/N: Since all Zennies know that the J/F pairing can only end in tears, I decided to write a story on why and how it does. I have trouble writing from the Fez POV, so it probably seems out of character. But he can't be the loveable goofball all the time. Kind of angsty, just to warn you.

I could say that I had her. The woman I had worshipped for years, the one who overlooked me, she and I were finally together. I could say that she was all mine, she wanted me like I had wanted her. I stayed in this country for her because she said that she needed me.

I saw how she would look at him. How his burns would burn her extra hard. How she would never kiss me with her eyes on me. She knows my favorite candy, my favorite Charlie's Angel, my favorite band. But I know little about her that is beyond makeup, fashion, and music. She wouldn't tell me.

And it all became clear last night.

I had made us a fancy dinner to celebrate our two week anniversary of being together. I had hoped that if she liked dinner, then perhaps my needs would finally be met. She had yet to give me 'the go ahead', as Kelso would refer to that invitation to doing it. I figured that if I made her a fancy meal, she'd have to let me get some. I thought that it would show that we were ready for it.

Jackie got home at 8:30. I had candles lit around the apartment, opera playing on the record player, and romantic wine. It had all worked on my past lovers, for I knew a lot about ladies and their needs.

"Wow, Fez, what is all this?" she asked.

"Happy two weeks!" I said, and walked to kiss her. It started there. She turned her head so I caught her cheek instead of her lips.

"This is amazing!" she said, and sat down. I sighed to myself, and sat across from her. As much as I didn't want to believe it, this had been happening more and more frequently.

We ate, and she talked about her day. I listened as much as I saw fit, and then had to interrupt her. Again, I. Have. Needs.

"So I thought we could do it tonight," I said. She looked up from her plate, surprised.

"Oh," she said, obviously caught off guard. She was quiet for about seven seconds, and I was getting frustrated.

"Well, what do you think?" I asked. She sipped the wine, and smiled politely.

"Well, Fez, I thought that we were going to take it slow," she said. "This is still pretty new, you know. We have to get to know each other-."

"We know each other, we're past all that," I said, and laughed a little. "I want to know you in the…. Carnal sense. Beyond watching you shower." She set her wine down, looked at the table, and then at me.

"… Fez, it's not that I don't want to…"

"Then what is it?" I asked. She sighed, and closed her eyes. "Is it because your past lovers have treated you like less than a goddess? Jackie, I love you. You're the most beautiful, the classiest, the sexiest woman I've ever met. And I won't hurt you like the others have. I won't mistreat you. I'll treat you like a delicate flower. Like a lily. I'll be the man that you have always dreamed of."

She opened her eyes, and smiled at me. At the time it seemed genuine. She stood, and took my hand.

"Okay," she said. I sang in my head, _I'm doing it with Jackie!_, and we went to the bedroom. I threw off my shirt, and began kissing her neck. I ignored how she tensed as I did so. I kissed her face, and then her lips, and moved my hands through her hair. And as I began to unbutton her blouse, I stopped. She wasn't doing anything. She was simply sitting there.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She looked in my eyes, and hers were frozen. Like two ice cubes, or popsicles, or snowballs. Simply frozen. "Why are you scared of me?" She tilted her head, and then shook it.

"I'm not!" she exclaimed, trying to take my hand, but I yanked it away. "You're the one who stopped!"

"Because I can tell that you don't want to and I'm not going to do it if you don't want to!" I snapped, and she sighed in exasperation.

"You're overreacting, I wasn't doing anything!"

"That's it! You weren't doing ANYTHING," I stated.

"You are reading too much into this!" she exclaimed. "Fez, you always take things so personally, you are just-!"

"Why did you pull away?"

"I didn't' pull away!"

"When I tried to kiss you, you pulled away," I said, anger rising. "Before dinner, you turned your head so I couldn't kiss you. Why?"

"I didn't know you were going to kiss me!"

"Do you love me?"

"…. Excuse me?"

"Do you love me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I've said it to you many times, Jackie, but I don't believe that you have said it to me," I said. She looked at me, and then stood up. "Well? Do you?" She walked to the closet, and stood there, not facing me. She crossed her arms, and then took in a deep breath.

"When you said all those things," she said, "about how you wouldn't mistreat me, and how you thought I was a flower… How you said I was sexy, and classy, and beautiful… I believe you."

"What IS your point?" I spat.

"I believe you, but… I don't feel anything!" she exclaimed, turning around. "Fez, I don't feel anything! I should, because you are everything I want in a man! You're nice, you're funny, you care about my wants and my needs, you want to whisk me away and treat me like a princess and protect me! It's everything I want in a man!" She put her hands to her face, as the tears began falling from her eyes. I stood, and held her wrists in my hands.

"So if I'm everything you want in a man, why don't you love me?" I demanded, and she shook her head.

"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "Everything with you is perfect! You're the man I'm supposed to fall in love with!" And it all came together for me.

"It's him," I said. She looked into my eyes, confused. I let her hands go, and stepped away. I chuckled to myself. "Of course. That's what it goes back to. You are still in love with Hyde."

"That's not true!" she protested, but I know my Jackie. I know when she's lying, even when she doesn't know she is. "I am over Steven, Fez, I am over him!" I shook my head, and decided it was time to leave.

"This isn't working, Jackie," I said, and grabbed shoes. I began lacing them up as she held her arms and cried. "I am going to spare us the lies and try to salvage our friendship by ending it right now."

"Fez, please-."

"No."

"Fez!" I left the bedroom, and walked for the front door. "Fez, I don't want to be alone!" I turned, and she wiped her eyes.

"And I don't want to be your last desperate attempt to be with someone," I said. "I'll be back later. Good day." She was still crying as I shut the door, but I didn't. I didn't because… I think I knew it was coming before it did.

I could say that she and I are going to make things work. I could say that she will eventually come around and the underdog will win this fight. I could say that we will live happily ever after, a shampoo boy and his princess.

I could say that she loves me.

But that would be a lie.


End file.
